It’s nice to be important but my goodness it’s more important to be nice. I’ve witnessed this mean girl culture as a young teenager in school. Sometimes people view bullying as getting ‘beat up’ outside the school gates. It doesn’t have to be. Emotional bullying is severe & it happens everywhere. Unless you’re the person to stand up to it.
Going into 1st year, a new school, I found my sense of self in primary school & was very secure who I was. By Christmas into my new school I didn’t. Constant nit picking at my appearance, telling me where I should sit, where I was welcome and wasn’t, what part of the line I should be standing in to name a few really got to me. I did well at school academically but emotionally I was suffering but I didn’t know how to tell anyone.
I told my mum & of course she was disappointed, hurt & shocked. I moved school and found me again. I look back now & ive seen those mean girls about & I feel sorry for them. I won’t make excuses for anyone to go out of their way to internally hurt another person. Maybe they where hurting too.
A girl who I thanked years later, paid me a compliment during class at my lowest & it’s stood by me. She has a family of her own now too, she’ll always be in my mind as the rose among the thorns. If you’re reading this. Thank you again.
Now onto social media & mean culture. Mamas raising their families. Promoting self care, raising each other up & supporting each other. Lovely. Not really. It would be lovely if it was but not one to sweep anything under the rug. Most of it is fake & all for personal gain. I can count maybe 5 of my Insta mamas that mean it. I like to interact with others & lend a voice, a hand or support in any way I can. It’s not fake. I wouldn’t have a job otherwise.
I’ve seen in soft play centres, beautiful, nervous & alone mummys walking in with their child/children to play & a group of other mummys staring ( clearly insecure in themselves) and starting a nit picking conversation. I thought soft play would be a safe haven. Away from nasty tongues. A group of like minded mummys needing a break on a rainy day.
If you don’t have something nice to say. Don’t. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but at the expense of another persons feelings & risking defameing their character. Are you doing yourself any good? Someone will call you out. Usually me. I know, my character has been defamaed & everyone who was good told me about it. Try walking into a room, no one talking to you & wondering what you had done? Some bright spark making up rumours and people listening to it. More fool them though right.
As my oldest starts school this week, it is my hope that she has a pleasant & successful school life ahead of her. That she too sees when mean comments aren’t acceptable & should be called out. I’ve taught her, like I was taught too. Be kind, non judgemental & be you. The truth will always prevail.
I am humble enough to know I am not better than anyone else but wise enough to know I am different.