Stamping out mean girl culture.

I can’t stand it. I never could. I don’t know how many times I’ve read people saying ‘be kind’ ‘include’ ‘support each other’ then turning around & doing the opposite. It gives me the shivers.

It’s nice to be important but my goodness it’s more important to be nice. I’ve witnessed this mean girl culture as a young teenager in school. Sometimes people view bullying as getting ‘beat up’ outside the school gates. It doesn’t have to be. Emotional bullying is severe & it happens everywhere. Unless you’re the person to stand up to it. 

Going into 1st year, a new school, I found my sense of self in primary school & was very secure who I was. By Christmas into my new school I didn’t. Constant nit picking at my appearance, telling me where I should sit, where I was welcome and wasn’t, what part of the line I should be standing in to name a few really got to me. I did well at school academically but emotionally I was suffering but I didn’t know how to tell anyone. 

I told my mum & of course she was disappointed, hurt & shocked. I moved school and found me again. I look back now & ive seen those mean girls about & I feel sorry for them. I won’t make excuses for anyone to go out of their way to internally hurt another person. Maybe they where hurting too. 

A girl who I thanked years later, paid me a compliment during class at my lowest & it’s stood by me. She has a family of her own now too, she’ll always be in my mind as the rose among the thorns. If you’re reading this. Thank you again.

Now onto social media & mean culture. Mamas raising their families. Promoting self care, raising each other up & supporting each other. Lovely. Not really. It would be lovely if it was but not one to sweep anything under the rug. Most of it is fake & all for personal gain. I can count maybe 5 of my Insta mamas that mean it. I like to interact with others & lend a voice, a hand or support in any way I can. It’s not fake. I wouldn’t have a job otherwise. 

I’ve seen in soft play centres, beautiful, nervous & alone mummys walking in with their child/children to play & a group of other mummys staring ( clearly insecure in themselves) and starting a nit picking conversation. I thought soft play would be a safe haven. Away from nasty tongues. A group of like minded mummys needing a break on a rainy day. 

If you don’t have something nice to say. Don’t. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but at the expense of another persons feelings & risking defameing their character. Are you doing yourself any good? Someone will call you out. Usually me. I know, my character has been defamaed & everyone who was good told me about it. Try walking into a room, no one talking to you & wondering what you had done? Some bright spark making up rumours and people listening to it. More fool them though right. 

Being insecure is a horrible way to feel. Trying to make someone else feel insecure to build yourself up. Unacceptable. 

As my oldest starts school this week, it is my hope that she has a pleasant & successful school life ahead of her. That she too sees when mean comments aren’t acceptable & should be called out. I’ve taught her, like I was taught too. Be kind, non judgemental & be you. The truth will always prevail. 

I am humble enough to know I am not better than anyone else but wise enough to know I am different. 


  1. September 3, 2017 / 9:08 pm

    Hi ,
    I completely agree with all of thee above !!
    I feel very out of place most days – I’m not without friends but I feel I’m always on the fringes it’s the way it’s always been and I blame comments from school that have left mye not knowing where I stand .
    My eldest girl starts secondary school on Wednesday and I’m praying it goes well for her !!
    I hope you’re little ones school adventure is full of happiness
    ( kidsandcakecrumbs)

    • September 3, 2017 / 9:16 pm

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read. I hope your eldest has a lovely time a secondary. It’s so sad that comments like this can still haunt our thoughts & still occur as mummys raising our own wee tribe. Here’s to stamping out mean girls 💪🏻

  2. September 4, 2017 / 9:14 am

    I was always taught that if I have nothing nice to say then I shouldn’t say anything at all and this is what I’ve taught my kids. It’s such a shame for us mummies that lack confidence, self esteem and maybe a support network we are surrounded by cliques, in soft play, in the playground, on social media leaving them feeling lonely, left out questioning themselves.

    • September 4, 2017 / 11:24 am

      Very true Louise. Thankfully I will never be part of a mean girl Clique or will keep quiet about it if I see it happening. Nothing will ever change until people are challenged. Thanks for reading Louise. Mummys together xx

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